Pick up the Pieces and Begin Again
(Written January 6, 2021)
“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” -Flavia Weedn
I’ve always enjoyed quotes. In just a short sentence or two, a quote has the power to touch a person in meaningful ways. Upon graduating from high school, my mom gave me a framed picture of inspirational quotes. This quote by Flavia Weedn was one of them and has been etched into my mind for at least 10 years. It popped into my awareness as I began this journey of writing and sharing my story…
On dreaming…
We all dream. Dreaming is a powerful function of the human brain and allows humans to create absolutely beautiful and amazing things with our lives.
When I was a boy and entered sports age, I dreamt of becoming a professional athlete...
When I entered college, I dreamt of becoming a doctor…
When I completed my undergraduate years of college and entered into a Doctorate of Physical Therapy Program, I dreamt of becoming a Physical Therapist...
Two years ago, I had a dream of building a blog, website, and speaking business and using my story and abilities to help others.
On dreams breaking...
Dreams break for everyone at some point in their lives. That’s a fact of life. We all experience it. Even those greats… Quite frankly, I’ve had dream after dream “break into a thousand pieces.”
I’m 27 and I am not a professional athlete, I am not a doctor, I am not a physical therapist, and I have not built a blog/website/or speaking business to help others. Dreams can break for so many reasons. I’m sure you can think of an example of a broken dream in your own life and can tease apart why that dream didn’t become reality.
The most blatant and obvious part of my life that has prevented my occupational dreams in life from becoming reality are the mental illnesses, Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. In fact, at the time of writing this, I am without a job altogether because of how difficult and distressing I am finding it to be in the workplace due to aspects of my illnesses.
I’ve had dream after dream “broken into a thousand pieces.” Currently, it feels as though I am surrounded by the shards of broken pieces from all the dreams that have broken due to my mental illnesses.
On picking up the pieces...
I’m at the pivotal moment where I have a choice to make; I can remain consumed and surrounded by broken pieces or I can pick one of those pieces up.
Professional Athlete Dreams: DONE dreaming.
Doctor or Physical Therapy: DONE dreaming. (probably forever, but at least for now)
Writer/advocate: Picking one piece up.
Two years ago when I wanted to write and speak, my health would not allow it. I’m still not entirely sure whether my health will allow me to now… And yet, I must just start by picking up one piece of that dream. One piece of the dream is to use my story with mental illness and my abilities of writing/speaking to help others, to perhaps help YOU…
On beginning again…
Through my absolutely wild journey with mental illness, I was somewhere down the line introduced to the powerful practice of meditation. One supplement to my meditation practice I use is the app “Waking Up” developed by the neuroscientist and philosopher, Sam Harris. While meditating, Sam Harris often encourages the one practicing to “begin again.” If one has become lost in thought and lost focus on the object of meditation (breath, sound, visual field, etc.), he simply says to “begin again.” It’s a great way to be kind to oneself and simply start over.
As I pick up the pieces of my dreams, I can hear Sam Harris’s voice saying to me “simply begin again.”
Consistent with what Flavia Weedn and Sam Harris say, I am going to “begin again” my dreams of using my story with mental illness to help others in the form of my writing and speaking.
On being afraid...
In the quote we have been discussing, Flavia says “don’t be afraid to pick up the pieces.” Flavia, I am afraid… There are so many aspects of doing this all again that terrify me.
However, I am reminded of a another famous quote, this time by John Wayne:
“Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyways”
Despite being scared to death, it’s time for me to “saddle up” and begin again. And perhaps you find yourself at the same crosswords - beginning again.